It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
