Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Randomize
