im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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