Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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