My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
