he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
