she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
