me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dignity is for republicans.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
