i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
