just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
