He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
3pm strippers are depressing
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
