So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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