He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
