like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
