yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
