I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This is the prime rib incident all over again
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
