Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
