i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
