Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
