He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
