I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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