why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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