He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You are a genius and a whore.
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