So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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