She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
