so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
