I cockslap morals
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
