Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
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