Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Randomize
