Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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