Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
