:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
