I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
