Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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