is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
