its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
