Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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