We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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