I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
