You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
