Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
