She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
