i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
