I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
