Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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