My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
