final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
