From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
