just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
