Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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