Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
