Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i now understand why vodka
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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